[Review_06] Dad, if you’re looking at me, tell me the answer

 

Dad, if you’re looking at me, tell me the answer

I’m too young and soft to become an adult

I still don’t know how it hurts too much to just crash into things

Now I know, it’s too late to foolishly whip

There are still too many unhealed wounds

- Fear (by Song Mino)

 

The singer wrote this song when he was lost in his way on pursuing a K-pop idol and a famous rapper at the same time. While competing in the rap audition program in Korea, Mino received harsh criticism from both K-pop fans and rappers for running after two hares. He unfolded mixed feelings on this criticism and himself through the song. The above part of song, an outcry of a helpless son admitting his weakness, especially touched Korean twenties undergoing the hardest period of employment in the country’s history. During that time, the depressed youth began to turn their ears from ballad to rapping which directly criticized irrationals and unfairness in the society which adults used to describe as a gift for enormous studying. Sons and daughters were raised like Spartans to inherit the legacy their parents had constructed after the Korean War. However, they found themselves “too young and soft to become an adult.” And there came out a song titled Fear, which well represented the homogeneous feeling of the young generation in 2010s.

 

Michael crying with his first Larry O'brien trophy, and James watching his son on the left.

If Michael Jordan had listened to this song when his father was found murdered, he would deeply empathize with the lyrics. The king of the court, who seemed to have no ceiling in his fame, was devastated in a moment when the robust column of his throne went missing. He was a fierce bull aiming to leap over every obstacle before him, but turning out to be a fragile son just like any others in his age when his father passed away. Jordan overcame whoever stood before him on the way to championships like Isiah Thomas, Larry Bird, and Magic Johnson, while his father was watching him at one side of the court. James Jordan played essential role in carving the ordinary player in the high school to become the best in the NBA. The father implanted competitive spirit and strong desire for winning in his son and always supported what Michael craved for. If Phil Jackson was one leg supporting Michael to be Air Jordan, James was the other leg. After completing the unprecedented record in 1993 summer, Michael lost not only the goal but his driving force to stay on the court. While he denied speculation that his father’s death caused him to leave the court, there are still doubts on whether he would retire if James were still alive at that time.

 

James Jordan was found dead in his car submerged in a small lake. The entire world mourned  the death of the father of the world's super star.

“I am trying to deal with the overwhelming feelings of loss and grief in a way that would make my dad proud.” 

 

Because of Michael Jordan’s high profile, the death of his father immediately brought the world’s attention and conspiracies. (I also heard an unidentified rumor that the murderers committed the crime to buy costly Air Jordan shoes.) One of them was regarding Michael’s gambling habit that tainted his sterling image in the years just before killing. Some sports columnists suggested possible ties between gambling and the death of James without solid proof. It prompted the frustrated son to put out a statement that those speculations were an act of pouring salt in his open wound. During a month of the father’s disappearance, Michael had certainly the hardest period in his life. At a news conference, he insinuated that his retirement was somehow related to James by saying his father suggested retirement after the first championship. But right after that, he said his father’s death was not why he was leaving the NBA. Michael reassures his statement still holds true in the episode 7, although many people have speculated the opposite. I also think his decision was not completely independent from James’ death, and he would have asked something similar to the lyrics at the beginning: “Dad, if you’re looking at me, tell me the answer. I still don’t know how it hurts too much to just crash into things.” Michael is the only one knows the truth.

 

Michael is doing interview with his father James Jordan after winning the championship for the second time in 1992.

In the 1996 NBA finals, the Bulls won the fourth championship with Michael returning from the baseball field. Michael was standing alone in front of many reporters unlike the interview in 1992 (the picture above). Later he was found lying on the locker room floor and sobering with his face covered with arms. Were drops wetting Michael’s face tears of joy for his successful landing on the court or tears of sadness, missing the lifelong companion. It had passed three years since the loss, yet “there were still too many unhealed wounds” occupying Jordan’s mind.

 

 

(Related Articles)

Athreya, Arjun. WATCH: Michael Jordan Gets Super Emotional Remembering the Brutal Murder of His Father. Essentially Sports, May 10, 2020,

https://www.essentiallysports.com/nba-news-dont-want-to-know-why-old-interview-shows-michael-jordan-getting-emotional-over-the-devastating-murder-of-his-father/

WATCH: Michael Jordan Gets Super Emotional Remembering the Brutal Murder of His Father - EssentiallySports

 

Deb, Sophan. The Death of James Jordan: What We Know. New York Times, May 10, 2020

https://www.nytimes.com/article/james-jordan-death.html

The Death of James Jordan: What We Know